MEMO  FROM  GOD

I am God.

Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it.  Kindly put it in the  SFGTD (something for God to do) box. It will be addressed in My time, not yours.  Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold on to it.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic; don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be them!!!!

Should you decide to send this to a friend; You might brighten someone's day!

THE LORD'S PRAYER

(person) 'Our Father who art in heaven...'

(God) Yes?

(person) Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.

(God) But you called me.

(person) Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying. "Our Father which art in heaven.."

(God) There you did it again.

(person) Did what?

(God) Called me. You said, "Our Father which art in heaven." Here I am.  What's on your mind?

(person) But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like getting a duty done.

(God) All right. Go on.

(person) "Hallowed be thy name..."

(God) Hold it. What do you mean by that?

(person) By what?

(God) By "hallowed be thy name"?

(person) It means... it means... Good grief, I don't know what it means. How should I know? It's just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?

(God) It means honored, holy, wonderful.

(person) Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what "hallowed" meant before. "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

(God) Do you really mean that?

(person) Sure, why not?

(God) What are you doing about it?

(person) Doing? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there.

(God) Have I got control of you?

(person) Well, I go to church.

(God) That isn't what I asked you. What about the way you belittle your peers?  You've really got a problem there, you know. And then there's the way you spend your money --- all on yourself.  And what about the kind of books you read?

(person) Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at the church.

(God) Excuse me. I thought you were praying for my will to be done. If that is to happen, it will have to start with the ones who are praying for it. Like you, for example.

(person) Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.

(God) So could I.

(person) I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things. I would like to, you know, be really free.

(God) Good. Now we're getting somewhere. We'll work together, you and I.  Some victories can truly be won. I'm proud of you.

(person) Look, Lord, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does. "Give us this day, our daily bread."

(God) You need to cut out the bread. You're overweight as it is.

(person) Hey, wait a minute! What is this, "Criticize me day"? Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups.

(God) Praying is a dangerous thing. You could wind up changed, you know. That's what I'm trying to get across to you. You called me, and here I am. It's too late to stop now. Keep praying, I'm interested in the next part of your prayer... (pause). Well, go on.

(person) I'm scared to.

(God) Scared? Of what?

(person) I know what you'll say.

(God) Try me and see.

(person) "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us."

(God) What about Ann?

(person) See? I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories about my family. She never paid back the debt she owes me. I've sworn to get even with her!

(God) But your prayer? What about your prayer?

(person) I didn't mean it.

(God) Well, at least you're admitting it. But it's not much fun carrying that load of bitterness around inside, is it?

(person) No. But I'll feel better as soon as I get even. Boy, have I got some plans for that neighbor.  She'll wish she had never moved into this neighborhood.

(God) You won't feel any better. You'll feel worse. Revenge isn't sweet. Think of how unhappy you already are. But I can change all that.

(person) You can? How?

(God) Forgive Ann. Then I'll forgive you. Then the hate and sin will be Ann's problem and not yours. You will have settled your heart.

(person) Oh, you're right. You always are. And more than I want to revenge Ann, I want to be right with you....(pause)...(sigh). All right.  All right. I forgive her. Help her to find the right road in life, Lord. She's bound to be awfully miserable now that I think about it. Anybody who goes around doing the things she does to others has to be out of it.  Someway, somehow, show her the right way.

(God) There now! Wonderful! How do you feel?

(person) Hmmm. Well, not bad. Not bad at all. In fact, I feel pretty great! You know, I don't think I'll have to go to bed uptight tonight for the first time since I can remember. Maybe I won't be so tired from now on because I'm not getting enough rest.

(God) You're not through with your prayer. Go on.

(person) Oh, all right. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

(God) Good! Good! I'll do that. Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted.

(person) What do you mean by that?

(God) Don't turn on the TV when you know the laundry needs to be done and the house needs to be picked up.  Also, about the time you spend coffee-ing with your friends, if you can't influence the conversation to positive things, perhaps you should rethink the value of those friendships. Another thing, your neighbors and friends shouldn't be your standard for "keeping up". And please don't use me for an escape hatch.

(person) I don't understand the last part.

(God) Sure you do. You've done it a lot of times.  You get caught in a bad situation. You get into trouble and then you come running to me, "Lord, help me out of this mess, and I promise you I'll never do it again." You remember some of those bargains you tried to make with me?

(person) Yes, and I'm ashamed, Lord. I really am.

(God) Which bargain are you remembering?

(person) Well, there was the night that the children and I were home alone. The wind was blowing so hard I thought the roof would go any minute and tornado warnings were out. I remember praying, "Oh, God, if you spare us, I'll never skip my devotions again."

(God) Did you?

(person) I'm sorry, Lord, I really am. Up until now I thought that if I just prayed the Lord's Prayer every day, then I could do what I liked. I didn't expect anything to happen like it did.

(God) Go ahead and finish your prayer.

(person) "For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever." Amen

(God) Do you know what would bring me glory? What would really make me happy?

(person) No, but I'd like to know. I want now to please you. I can see what a mess I've made of my life. And I can see how great it would be to really be one of your followers.

(God) You just answered the question.

(person) I did?

(God) Yes. The thing that would bring me glory is to have people like you truly love me. And I see that happening between us. Now that some of these old sins are exposed and out of the way, well, there is no telling what we can do together.

(person) Lord, let's see what we can make of me, OK? Amen!

 ~Author Unknown~

For all Parents

Just for this morning,
I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning,
I will let you choose what you want to wear,
and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning,
I am going to step over the laundry,
and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning,
I will leave the dishes in the sink,
and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon,
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off,
and sit with you in the back yard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon,
I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble
when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck,
and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon,
I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up,
or second-guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon,
I will let you help me bake cookies,
and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon,
I will take you to McDonald's
and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening,
I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born,
and how much I love you.

Just for this evening,
I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening,
I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening,
I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV show.

Just for this evening,
when I run my fingers through your hair as you pray,
I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the parents who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and parents who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore, and when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.

It is then that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day.


Author Unknown

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

...one old love she can imagine going back to
...and one who reminds her how far she has come...
...enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to and needs to.
...something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.
...a youth she's content to leave behind.
...a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.
...the realization that she is actually going to have an old age and some money set aside to fund it.
...a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
...one friend who always makes her laugh,
...and one who lets her cry.
...a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.
...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.
...a resume that is not even slightest bit padded.
...a feeling of control over her destiny.
... a skin care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.
... a solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better after 30.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

...how to fall in love without losing herself.
...how she feels about having kids.
...how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
...when to try harder, and when to walk away.
...how to have a good time at a party she'd never choose to attend.
...how to ask for what she wants in a way that makes it most likely she'll get it.
...that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.
...that her childhood may not have been perfect, but its over.
...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more.
...how to live alone, even if she doesn't like it.
...whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.
...where to go: be it to her best friend's kitchen table, or a charming inn in the woods, when her soul needs soothing.
..what she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, or a year.

I AM THANKFUL FOR . . .

. . . the mess to clean up after a party, because
it means I have been surrounded by friends.

. . . the taxes I pay, because
it means that I'm employed.

. . . the clothes that fit a little too snug, because
it  means I have enough to eat.

. . . my shadow who watches me work, because
it means I am out in the sunshine.

. . . the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking.

. . . all the complaining I hear about our government, because it means we have freedom of speech.

. . . that lady behind me in church who sings off key, because it means that I can hear.

. . . the piles of laundry and ironing,
because it means my loved ones are nearby.

. . . the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing,
because it means I have a home.

 . . . my sometimes huge heating bill,
because it means that I am warm.

 . . . weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means that I have been productive.

. . . the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours,
because it means that I am alive.

author unkown